Popcorn

Popcorn

Recently I met a gal who gave me an analogy that stuck to me like honey in a sandbox - and now it is everywhere. You are aware in the aftermath, but now consciously aware of it as it is happening.  

We were talking about coincidences, strange things that have happened, unexplainable things. I was explaining how I can feel shifts, the timing of events, the wtf moments, and lessons learned. 

As the more she talked I became so engulfed in it all and how so many different things were actually making sense, things were clicking. Left-and-right clicks here and there. Lightbulb after lightbulb.

And then she said one word:
“Popcorn.”

Popcorn doesn’t pop all at once.

It happens in clusters.

A pop here.

A pop there.

Then suddenly it sounds like a Tommy gun from the prohibition running with endless ammo.

And eventually it slows… and cools… and you gotta figure out what the hell just happened.

That’s been my life.

My year.

My month.

And especially today.

Sometimes the popping is good; it’s warm, fun, exciting, when things are moving.

Sometimes the popping feels like you’re stuck inside a wind tunnel while on a trampoline with the kernels, jumping around in the heat, trying to dodge the one angry kernel that refuses to pop out of spite. Every batch has that one stubborn little bastard.

And you are dodging everything flying all around.

And sometimes?

You don’t even realize you’re in the middle of a fresh batch until the popcorn has sat and cooled some.

Lately it’s been the kind of things that show up out of nowhere and make you go,

“Oh… okay… so THIS is popping now? …. Cool.”

With a big fucking thumbs up and smile that is so fake it hurts.

Nothing huge or catastrophic.

Just enough heat to make you notice the crackles and tumbles.

This morning I woke up inside a popcorn maker that had been warming all night. Not dramatic. Not explosive. But definitely stupefying. Little moments here and there…
pop…
pop…..
pop.....pop.....
poppoppop…poppoppop
each one landing a little closer to home and hotter than the one before.

But now as I sit back and try to process all the shit….

 I realized…. I’m in a wait for my popcorn to cool down mode.

You know, the time when the popcorn is done, and ready but… you need a bit of time to let it cool before diving in. If you try to eat it a little too early, you could definitely get burned.

This is not my favorite place to be.

I don’t like the pause.

I don’t like the waiting.

I am not a fan of  sitting still long enough to feel the feelings I’d rather wave to as I power-walk past.

Stillness has never been my comfort zone - it’s where the truths are heard, if you choose to hear them.

But the cooling-off period keeps you from getting burned.

It keeps you from grabbing the bowl too soon.

It gives you space to figure out what popped, what’s still heating up waiting to pop,
 and what was never your kernel to begin with.

But better yet you get to decide how much of the bowl you want to eat. 

And maybe that’s the whole point of popcorn moments -

they show you what’s shifting and changing before you even notice the change has or is happening.

At this point, just sometimes, I think life just turns up the heat to high and shakes the pot to see if I’m paying attention for the pure joy of the shits and giggles. 

But now, I am learning when to add the salt, and mix in M&M’s in for the best results. 

(btw…. M&M’s do melt outside the mouth)