The Look
This morning started like any other. I felt a good energy in the air. It was going to be a good day.
The shop had only been open about fifteen minutes when everything changed.
A regular customer came in, grabbed his goodies, and had a short little neighborly chat with me, and as we finished up, he ran out to his truck to grab exact change for his purchase.
A few seconds later he heard what he described as a sound “like a melon hitting the ground.”
A man had fallen in our parking lot.
Right in front of the shop!
The shop had only been open about fifteen minutes when everything changed.
A regular customer came in, grabbed his goodies, and had a short little neighborly chat with me, and as we finished up, he ran out to his truck to grab exact change for his purchase.
A few seconds later he heard what he described as a sound “like a melon hitting the ground.”
A man had fallen in our parking lot.
Right in front of the shop!
My adrenaline spiked to levels I haven’t felt in a long time.
By the time I got outside, my customer was trying to talk with him, asking if he was ok.
By the time I got outside, my customer was trying to talk with him, asking if he was ok.
He was laying on the ground very confused, but uttering he was ok.
But as I approached I can already see a large goose egg forming on the back of his head. And …Blood…
But as I approached I can already see a large goose egg forming on the back of his head. And …Blood…
I could see it was running down his neck as he remained laying on the concrete, and without even thinking I ran inside and grabbed the phone and called 911 while reaching for paper towels.
Then something completely unexpected happened!
The moment he realized I was on the phone talking to dispatch, he started to become upset.
“No.”
“Don’t call.”
“I don’t want an ambulance.”
He insisted it was an old injury.
It clearly wasn’t.
He insisted he was ok.
He clearly wasn’t.
I tried explaining that I was worried because he was bleeding… a lot.
From his head.
The dispatcher eventually told me that because he was refusing medical care, they weren’t sending anyone.
Wait, What?
That answer caught me completely off guard.
We stayed with him for several minutes until he was able to get himself up. Eventually he brushed himself off and continued walking toward the gas station as if nothing had happened.
Then something completely unexpected happened!
The moment he realized I was on the phone talking to dispatch, he started to become upset.
“No.”
“Don’t call.”
“I don’t want an ambulance.”
He insisted it was an old injury.
It clearly wasn’t.
He insisted he was ok.
He clearly wasn’t.
I tried explaining that I was worried because he was bleeding… a lot.
From his head.
The dispatcher eventually told me that because he was refusing medical care, they weren’t sending anyone.
Wait, What?
That answer caught me completely off guard.
We stayed with him for several minutes until he was able to get himself up. Eventually he brushed himself off and continued walking toward the gas station as if nothing had happened.
WTF!?!
Later I learned he’s well known around the area. He’s apparently been asked not to enter several businesses, ours included. People told me he struggles with alcohol, but this morning, that didnt appear on my radar.
But honestly… that isn’t what has stayed with me today.
I’ve seen blood before.
I’ve handled highly stressful situations before.
I instinctively kicked into another gear labeled… GO!
But….
What I can’t seem to shake is one brief moment.
I remember looking him in the eyes while I was asking if if he was ok, and telling him he wasn’t in trouble.
He was more worried about being in trouble.
I remember saying to him… “ I am just really worried about you”.
And… For just a moment, he looked back at me.
I don’t know what he was actually feeling, and I won’t pretend that I do.
But the look on his face….
It’s one… I’ve seen hundreds of times before.
It’s a look I used to see in my kids.
The look that silently asks…
“Am I okay?”
Maybe that’s why my response was so automatic.
As a parent, I never had time to think about it. When my kids were scared, my job wasn’t to panic with them. My job was to absorb as much of their fear as I could so they didn’t have to carry it alone. To help reassure them. To become the calm until they could find their own.
This morning, that part of me took over before my mind even had a chance to catch up.
I wasn’t thinking.
I was simply trying to help another human being feel safe.
The blood doesn’t bother me. But it kinda does.
The emergency doesn’t bother me. Even though my adrenaline level, 5 hours later, is still spiked.
It’s not even the fact that he refused help ….. as it has been replaying in my head all day.
It’s that look.
Because …..it reminded me how quickly we can forget that behind every label, reputation, every addiction, every disability, every bad decision, every box we’ve placed on another person…
…there is still someone capable of being afraid.
Someone’s child.
Someone who, at one point in their life, probably looked at another person hoping maybe even praying someone would say, “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”
Maybe that’s why I haven’t been able to focus today.
Maybe it isn’t because I witnessed an accident.
Maybe ….
Just Maybe …..
it’s because, for just a few seconds,
I didn’t see a stranger in a parking lot.
I saw someone’s little boy.
I saw someone’s little boy.
Comments
Post a Comment