Music That Hits Different – Lumineers (Part 2)

Music That Hits Different – Lumineers (Part 2)

How a Hidden Track Uncovered a Hidden Truth

Ever have a song sneak up on you and smack you a second time, harder than the first? That’s what this one did. I thought I knew what it meant to me… turns out, I’d only scratched the surface.

In Part 1, The Soundtrack Song by The Lumineers has always hit me — especially the first verse about loneliness. That verse made me face the truth about my own relationship with myself, the years of feeling alone even when surrounded by people, and how I’ve had to be the strong one my entire life. But today, something shifted. Another part of that song slammed into me in a way it never had before.

Let me go, the king's on high
He picks her out of the crowd to be by his side
She walks up, staircase in white
She holds her breath, pretends that this is right

Let me go… I always took it as loneliness, please let me be. I no longer want to feel this way.

But today, the next part hit me like a damn grizzly bear running after me because I’d stolen one of her cubs:

'Cause all of this, it don’t come free and don't become a casualty
And live beneath what you were meant to be
'Cause cowards and heroes feel the same as you and me, it's real
But some will run and others persevere
Victory is in the fight and men with hearts will bleed tonight
And only rest, and rest is what is right

Only now do I really feel what this verse means. My old life, my current job, my old patterns — they were killing me. Suffocating me. I reached that point of no return, and I knew that if I didn’t do something right then, it would kill me — my spirit, my hope, my love. I have been the casualty in so many situations, and the ones I killed myself for only noticed when I wasn’t showing up the way they wanted. My wellbeing was never their worry.

I’ve fought hard not to let ugly-hearted people and the ugliness of the world harden me. I still choose to show up — it might not be at 100%, but I’ll always give all I have to give. That’s who I am.

I’m learning and becoming comfortable with really learning myself. The good traits, the ones I’m working on changing, and the new ones I’m discovering as I figure out who I’m truly meant to be. I’m no longer allowing another person to dictate my life because it serves only them.

That line about living beneath what we were meant to be — I lived that way my entire life. I no longer choose to allow it. Some people run — to safety, to comfort, to what they know. I’ve been there too, until I couldn’t anymore. But I’ve always persevered. Always. I didn’t have a choice. I just did. If I hadn’t had to be that person for my kids, for everyone else… but never for myself… I know I wouldn’t be the same now. I did what I needed to do and never gave much thought about it and just kept moving. Even in crisis mode, I’d find myself carrying someone else’s burdens that didn’t belong to me just to help them feel better.

Victory is in my vocabulary now, even if it’s a small win. Some days all I can celebrate is getting up and washing my hair — and if I’m lucky, blow drying it. Just getting up and showing up. Eating — because sometimes I forget, or I just can’t decide, so I don’t.

Only now do I understand what real rest is. Real rest is knowing you have someone truly interested in your wellbeing, over their own. Real rest is knowing everything is going to be alright — and believing it. Real rest is laying your head down and allowing yourself enough to relax so your mind and body can actually rest. Once you’ve felt it, your soul craves it.

That’s where I stand now. This is the catalyst. My soul is ready to relax and no longer feel like it needs to be hidden or guarded from the people in my life.

I’m no longer holding my breath, pretending it’s right.

And maybe that’s what music does best — it cracks us open in places we didn’t even know were sealed. This one broke me open, but in the breaking, I took a breath of fresh air, because this time I am choosing me.

“Soundtrack Song” by The Lumineers 

Curious minds want to know …. this song, have you heard it? 

Author: Ellie Wilde / Grizzly Hippie Journal Series